Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
