I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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