i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize