She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Found your dick twin last night
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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