sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
