He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
