i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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