$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
