There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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