Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
