apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
