question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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