I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
