this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
