great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize