well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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