Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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