so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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