If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
