There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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