WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
