I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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