pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
