yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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