so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
