Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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