im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
