singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize