Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Damn victory sex feels great
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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