I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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