girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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