I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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