I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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