I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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