Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
