so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
