i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
