It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
