GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
