I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize