i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
