2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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