party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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