my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
