Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
