You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
