If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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