Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
