You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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