Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you didnt know i had herpes?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
