The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
