i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
dude. I can hear the air.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
