Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
