Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
