I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
