I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
