You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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