matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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