dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
