i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
