No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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