I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
