Define "chronic" masturbator.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
