just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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