You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
