I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
