So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
